The Sun Is Not Punk

PUNK ROCK BOWLING (5/22/15 - 5/25/15 @ Las Vegas, NV)

Every year when the Punk Rock Bowling lineup gets announced, I sit there and stare at it and realize just how not Punk I really am. This year was no different. Out of the almost 30 bands playing, there were 3 I wanted to see. So I said screw it, skip PRB and save my money for Fest again. Then they announced the club shows and I saw Frank Turner and Laura Jane Grace were playing together. Well maybe I can make it for one night. Then I got asked to sub in for a bowling team. OK, I can swing 2 nights I guess. Oh great, 88 Fingers Louie is playing a free pool party? FINE. I'll give you 2 and a half days.

So Friday afternoon I hoped in my car and traversed the desert to Punk Rock Mecca. I'll spare you the "boring" party details but just know I drank a bunch of beers and whiskey, hung with a ton of buddies, and met some cool new people. As always, the party part ruled.

3 Drunks and a Driver (Bowling)

Saturday morning I woke up in my car in the parking lot of the Plaza. Why did I wake up in my car you ask? Oh, because I tried to sleep in a hotel room with 2 people who have sleep apnea. Anyway, Kenny and I got breakfast, killed a few hours, met up with Mike and his wife and were on our way to the bowling alley. There we met up with our 4th bowler, a dude Jared knew who was filling in for our buddy G (who couldn't make it from New York). This mother fucker, we should have changed our name to 3 Drunks and a Fuck Up. The first game we bowled, not going to lie, I didn't do so well. Bowled a 111, not my best game ever, but it was a warm up. The second game, Homeboy went to go buy beers and a shot and it took so fucking long that by the time he made it back, we were stuck bowling twice in a row and then waiting 20 minutes for the other 7 people to go (It was league rules were you switch lanes between frames). I did better this game, I think I bowled a 147, not bad, not terrible. Then game 3 all hell broke loose. Dude was spilling drinks, talking shit to the other team, it was bad. The good news is I bowled my second Turkey in my life (3 strikes in a row), and ended with a 173. This wasn't the greatest introduction to the bowling part of Punk Rock Bowling, but I still had so much fun. I really hope I can fill in again next year and fully experience bowling with an entire team of awesome people. 

3 out 4 ain't bad

Frank Turner and Laura Jane Grace

When night fell it was time to walk the 37 miles from the Plaza hotel to the Bunkhouse to get my first taste of actual music. We had to navigate through the KC and the Sunshine Band nightmare crowd and get past the flame throwing metal praying mantis, but eventually we made it. When I walked in Bob Log III was still playing and it was not at all close to what I was expecting. He was wearing a Daft Punkesque helmet and just shredding his guitar. It was bizarre and fascinating at the same time. 

Laura Jane Grace and Atom Willard then took the stage and out of pure habit I followed some random people through the crowd to get as close as I could. I actually ended up next to my buddy Rich. Laura played through her set which kind of went almost in order from old to new. Some of the highlights were: Walking is Still Honest, You Look Like I Need A Drink, Cavalier Eternal, How Low, and Black Me Out. She even played the song she covered with Miley Cyrus, Androgynous, and I half expected Miley to come out too, but no dice. The best part of the entire thing though had to be the super excited group of people in front of me who were screaming along to every song, dancing, moshing and just having a great time. After the set, I tapped one on the shoulder and thanked him for having enough fun to make up for bitter old people like me. He looked terrified.

The Queen

Next up was Mr. Frank Turner. I went and grabbed my friend Jessica who just showed up, and again dragged her to get as close as we could. There have been some late nights where we would just sit in my car and listen to Frank Turner and smoke cigarettes, so it was cool to be able to see him play live with her there. And he did not disappoint, playing a long set full of songs to sing along too. At one point Stacy Dee from Bad Cop/Bad Cop came out and they covered NoFX's Lori Meyers, which was awesome. Then about halfway through he played a new song that he said was about his friend who died, and it got me. Hit me right in the feelings, and a few tears may or may not have been shed. When he was done, he immediately called out how stupid doing encores were and just played a few more songs which I appreciated. 

I take the best pictures

88 Finger Louie (Pool Party) 

Sunday morning I again met up with Kenny and crew and we hit the Golden Nugget buffet. Absolutely best terrible idea. I ate one or 2 bites of just about everything and a bowl of mashed potatoes and was good to go for the day. We got to the Plaza pool party in time to catch the tail end of Franks and Deans set. They played a weird mish-mash of original songs that opened and closed with riffs from other bands like NoFX and Alkaline Trio. They also had a scantily clad lady dancing on stage and in the crowd. She almost hit me in the face with a hula hoop at one point. 

Mercy Music played next. I missed them the night before at the Bunkhouse because the set up there was weird, but was glad I caught them this day. Kenny said they shredded and they did. The singer/guitar player made his guitar look like a babies toy, at one point showing off for all the photographers as he casually melted their collective faces off. 

After hanging in the hot ass sun for a few hours, clouds finally formed and 88 Finger Louie took the stage. Kenny noted Joe Principe wasn't playing bass, probably because he was doing Rise Against stuff, and Rise Against only plays on the moon now. They started to play and the crowd was ready to go nuts, but the sound guy didn't have the singers microphone turned on. So they played about half of the song State before that issue got resolved, but once it was on, it was ON. A mosh pit immediately filled with a bunch of pool party people in swim suits and the Mario Bros. Some lady ran in with a brand new expensive looking red slushy drink and immediately spilled it everywhere. It looked like a fucking crime scene. Towards the end of the set it started to rain, which the singer responded with "I thought some of you fuckers were spitting on me. But it was just Jesus spitting on us." The whole thing was awesome. I never even thought I would ever see 88 Fingers Louie play, let alone on a roof top pool, surrounded by a bunch of weirdos.

Not lying, The Mario Bros. Mosh

That was about it. I hung out for a few more hours, but I had to leave at some point because I had stuff to do on Monday. The drive home suuuucked, but in the end, it was all super worth it. There is nothing better then hanging out with your friends in a different state, drinking your asses off and watching awesome bands play. And bowling.

A big thank you to Morgan for giving me a place to stay Saturday, Kenny for hanging out almost non-stop and bowling and letting me stay in your room Friday, Mike for not murdering a certain person, Jared for letting me bowl for him, Jessica for singing along to Frank Turner with me, Kendra for introducing me to Success and bringing Malort even though I never got any, Jesse for curing my heartburn, Jackie for hanging out, and everyone else that I met or hung out with for being awesome. The punk scene is my favorite thing in the entire world and we are all family. See you at the next show.

Good Night Springton! There Will Be No Encores!

Lana Del Rey - Courtney Love (5/16/15 @ Sleep Train Amphitheater, Chula Vista CA)

Yeah. This is a thing that happened.

My sister Stacy's birthday was this past Saturday. She had 3 tickets to see Lana Del Rey and was fully intent on going with 2 of her friends, but one of them bailed at the last minute and since I was sitting around doing absolutely nothing (Punk rock bowling in a few days!) asked me if I wanted to go. I have never been to a pop concert PLUS I figured it could be interesting to write about, so I said fuck it, lets do this. 

First things first, I had to wait for my sister and her friend to get ready. 2 hours later, they said they were ready to roll, which actually meant another half an hour to get fully ready as they debated shit like "tights or no tights?" All the while I was getting nervous we may miss Courtney Love (I'm in no means a fan of Courtney Love, I was just super curious to see that fucking train wreck play. I'm assuming if anyone can rival the Matt Skiba shit show, it would be Courtney Love). Also, it should be mentioned my sister was properly birthday drunk at this point. They poured a few shots of some flavored vodka for all of us, which thankfully no one noticed me pouring mine back into the bottle. I may be a borderline alcoholic, but fuck flavored vodka shots. We finally made it on the road at some point, and of course half way down, we had to stop for a pee break.

When we made it to Chula Vista where the event was, the exit to get off the freeway was backed up and not moving for at least 4 miles. Me being slightly smarter then the average motorist, blew past the normal exit, turned around and came at it from the south. Still though, it took us easily 2 hours to get from the freeway to the venue (Which was a measly 2 and a half miles down the road). My sisters friend was in the backseat yelling random shit out the window at the other cars stuck in this hellscape, and convinced my sister to hop in the back and moon everyone for a solid 5 minutes straight. I used this opportunity to smoke cigarettes and blast The Dopamines as loud as I possibly could to drown out the nightmare happening in the back.

By the time we parked and got into the place, I could hear Courtney playing her last song, her band Hole's (only?) popular song Celebrity Skin. It sounded absolutely awful, and kind of bummed me out we missed it. It was standing in line for super overpriced beers that I first started to notice the people surrounding me. To the right of us was a group of men dressed in american flag tights and denim vests (I bought my sister a pair of American flag vans for her birthday which she was wearing) so naturally she popped in the middle of them and demanded a picture

Merica

Mostly everyone else at this place looked like Coachella rejects. White flowy hippie dresses, half shirts and high waisted pants, those weird hats gold miners wore, it was all here in the biggest crowd of fucking people I have ever seen. Seriously, I didn't even know that many people liked Lana Del Rey, let alone just in San Diego. And 90% of them seemed to be wearing flower crowns (So many people in fact, I thought they might have been handing them out at the entrance and I somehow missed getting mine). My absolute favorite person I saw though had to be the girl wearing a Native American head dress with an American flag draped around her shoulders. Bravo douche bag, bravo.

Lana Del Rey eventually played and it was whatever. She sounded good, she has a decent enough voice, but the slow pop music combined with everyone just kind of standing there like statues, I just don't get it. It would have been exactly the same to stay at home and listen to her CD with the bass turned all the way up. Initially, we were at the very very top and couldn't even see the stage, but slowly we started creeping closer and closer to the front, talking our way through security until eventually we were a step away from the floor area, which was heavily guarded by a dude who clearly took his job way too seriously. So we figured we did well enough and watched the last song from our new vantage point. Then it was over. Just like that. Everyone on stage just kind of packed it up and bounced and the lights came on and everyone was herded out the gates to the parking lot. It was kind of weird. 

Moving on up

We made it back to the car and it was a fucking nightmare trying to leave. Not a single car was moving. So instead of trying to fight traffic, we all just kind of took a nap for an hour or so until we could jet the fuck out of there and get Jack in the Box. My only regret is we didn't make it to North Park to see DFMK afterwards, and show these girls what a real show is like. Well that, and I didn't buy the $30 Courtney Love tank top they had for sale. 

SURPRISE! You're Going to Pomona on a Wednesday!

Thrice (5/13/15 @ The Glass House, Pomona CA)

I'm a Thrice fan. I have been ever since I heard them on my friend Duffy's stereo back in high school. They remain one of those constant bands I can listen to a trillion times and not get sick of. Their first 3 albums are fucking gold. Then Vheissu came along, and it was different and weird, but far from terrible. But then they took that one step further by releasing a 4 disc concept record called The Alchemy Index, each disc representing a different element: Hard as fuck, Digital as fuck, Acoustic as fuck, and Soft Rock as fuck (Or Fire, Water, Earth, and Air. Whatever). I still liked it, not the greatest, but not the worst. Then they put out 2 more increasingly mediocre records and called it quits.

3 years later and here they are playing shows again. Last time I saw Thrice was a decade ago. So obviously when Duffy asked if I wanted tickets to go see them in Pomona, I laced up my giant Osiris shoes, and jumped at the chance.

Normally the drive to Pomona isn't that bad. Today, it decided to be a fucking dick. When we got on the 57 north, it turned into an anarchist parking lot. Seriously, no one was moving. Cars were trying to drive sideways across the freeway, blocking lanes trying to cut off other vehicles that were also not moving. It was madness. Eventually, after driving about 3 miles in 1 hour, and fighting the stupidest drivers to merge down to one lane, we discovered why. Apparently a semi truck carrying a fork lift, had a tire blow out and it hit the center divide, throwing the fork lift over into the opposite lanes and taking out 6 or 7 vehicles, then smashed through into oncoming traffic and collided head on with a car (Sadly, I read, the driver of the car died). When we finally drove past the carnage, it looked like it was staged. Maybe a shitty publicity stunt for the new Mad Max movie, or like it was a set for the new Walking Dead spin off. It was nuts. But we eventually made it through and got to the Glasshouse with almost perfect timing (If you can call having all your pre-show drinking time eaten up "perfect").

What the fuck is this thing?

Pretty much when we got there Thrice started playing. The place was packed, a sold out crowd, and we were regulated to standing on the left side of the stage in the back. Now, don't get me wrong, Thrice is very very good live, but I think I have been spoiled with the normal bar shows I attend because there was just something off. I guess I'm just used to seeing pop punk bands that get drunk and have a good time. Thrice is the opposite of that. Very technical, very precise, with almost no crowd interaction (I think they stopped playing 3 times, once for the standard "How you doing Pomona?") They show up, play their songs, and that's about it. That's not to say they are bad live or anything. They actually kill it. Teppei is one of the best guitar players out there, Dustin sounded great, and Riley drummed. Ed was the only one moving around and bobbing to his bass the ENTIRE time. Then their was the set list. I don't know who decided it, but they played like 6 slow songs in a row which you can tell kind of took something out of the crowd. But as soon as they started playing The Artist in the Ambulance they came back alive. I even saw a crowd surfer! They also ended on another pretty slow song which was weird, but thankfully came back out for a 2 song encore (Can we please stop the stupid fucking encore? No one even chants or anything anymore, they kind of just stand there until they come back out) but then AGAIN ended on a fucking slow song (It's not that I don't like the slow songs, it's just, mix them up a little bit, maybe go out on a high note). Again, it's not that it was terrible (the opposite) it's just so not what I'm used to seeing anymore. 

Also, all Thrice fans are 6'2" or taller

All in all, it was an OK time. Keri bought me a beer (Thanks!) and they played Paper Tiger at least. I will give them credit for having one of the best shirts for sale, it just says on the front "Play Deadbolt." They know their fans. Oh, and we also hit more traffic on the way home because the Punk gods hate me and don't want me to go to sleep before 1am on school days.

Set list:
Firebreather (Alchemy Index: Fire)
Paper Tigers (The Artist in the Ambulance)
Stare at the Sun (The Artist in the Ambulance)
All That's Left (The Artist in the Ambulance)
The Weight (Beggars)
In Exile (Beggars)
Words on the Water (Major/Minor)
Blur (Major/Minor)
Daedalus (Alchemy Index: Air)
Red Sky (Vheissu)
Come All You Weary (Alchemy Index: Earth)
Promises (Major/Minor)
The Artist in the Ambulance (The Artist in the Ambulance)
Silhouette (The Artist in the Ambulance)
Deadbolt (The Illusion of Safety)
The Arsonist (Alchemy Index: Fire)
Anthology (Major/Minor)

The Earth Will Shake (Vheissu)
Beggars (Beggars)


Thanks Duffy!

This Guys Mohawk Smells Surprisingly Good

La Escalera 4 Year Anniversary Show (5/3/15 @ Til-Two Club, San Diego CA)

Hello there! It's good to see you friend! It's been too long.

This past weekend was a fucking blast. San Diego's own La Escalera Records celebrated being around for 4 years! So much good music, so many good friends, so many good hugs. I needed a full day to recover from the madness.

The Briggs (Slidebar, Fullerton)

First things first. Saturday night Kenny and I rolled up to Fullerton to check out True Rivals, Caskitt, and The Briggs. I missed most of True Rivals set because I was, as Kenny put it, "Bro-ing down pretty hard with some dudes from San Bernardino." But I did manage to catch a few songs and liked what I heard. I did however watch all of Caskitt's set, because duh, Bro's before other new bro's. Somewhere in the middle of Caskitt's set, that old man rumble must have ended, because the Slidebar was all of a sudden packed with people. It still trips me out that the back room of this place can be packed with gross sweaty punks, while the front bar is flooded with with the douchiest of the douche (Ladies can be douches too. GENDER EQUALITY!) Anyways, The Briggs played and the crowd went wild. A pit even got started with not one, but two shirtless sweaty dudes! I stayed as far in the back as I possibly could as they ripped through their set. During their last song, Joey had something around his neck, which turned out to be his daughter (with ear protection, calm down) which I thought was pretty rad. Then it started to get a little nuts and she had to leave when a million punks jumped on stage to help sing This is L.A. Awesome show, the perfect way to warm up for the actual party.

Blurry Punk Wolverine and friends

Sunday morning when I woke up I had 2 things on my mind, whiskey and bowling. There is only 2 weeks until Punk Rock Bowling and it is time to practice in all aspects. Oh, did I mention this year I am filling in for Jared on the 3 Drunks and a Driver team? Because I am, and I couldn't be more stoked. So after rolling a few games and dranking a few dranks, Kenny, Jared and I picked up Jessica and headed south to keep the party momentum going. 

Caskitt

The first band I actively watched was Caskitt. It has been years since I had the chance to see these fellas play, and to be honest, I kind of forgot they were a band. They were pioneers in the Nu-Metal Country Rap Rock scene, and seeing them play live you can see why. Mattholomew Caskitti sings and plays the electric drums reminiscent of Lars Ulrich in another 25 years from now, while Stefan Urquelle shreds the Keytar and provides the crowd with some eye candy, and newcomer Jesse brings a breathe of fresh air and his impressive Harpsichord skills. Well played sirs. 

You know, or whatever

DFMK

This is only the second time I have seen DFMK and there is seriously something amazing about them. I still have no idea what any of their songs are about, but it doesn't even matter. Just being able to see them be so animated and giving 125% shirks any kind of language barrier that exists. I'm not one to judge anyone, but if you have a chance to see them play and don't you are a fucking idiot.

Missing from this picture: Your stupid ass

I skipped watching Gentlemen Prefer Blood to go eat a Ziggy Love Chicken Burrito he was cooking up in front of Til-Two. The thing was so massive I had to split it with Jess. It was also so fucking good. Chicken Burrito, you the real hero.

Western Settings

This was Western Settings first show back home after a 16 day tour supporting their awesome new record Yes It Is. Even being on the road for over 2 weeks straight couldn't make them suck. Impressive as always. Will see again.

Not impressive? My drunken photography skills

Black Dots

I came in about halfway through their set and, like everyone else there, was blown away by how good they were. My brain started going on the fritz, probably from drinking whiskey for 9 hours straight, but the one thought I remember having was make sure you check these guys out. Which I am doing right now as I am typing this, and I must say, drunk Kevin has good taste.

His only redeemable quality

Civil War Rust

This is it. This was the band I was most excited to see play, and they did not disappoint. I downloaded their album The Fun and the Lonely a while ago off the recommendation of...someone... Keri maybe? And I liked it. But I had this feeling in the back of my head that if I saw them play live, I would like it way more. That's usually how it works with me, some bands are good recorded, but you can't fully appreciate them until you see them play live. I listened to that album probably 5 times in a row yesterday after seeing them, and then got pissed because they didn't have any more albums. That's a good thing. So yes, their set ruled and it made me bummed I didn't go to VLHS the night before and see them there too. Also, I fucking forgot to see if they had a copy of their album on vinyl. 

Go Angels

It was around this time I finally got proper drunk. I'm not the biggest fan of day drinking, but I feel like I made it a pretty decent amount of time. I am kind of bummed I didn't watch Breaker Breaker One Niner, as Ziggy was nice enough to cook burritos for everyone and seems to have a hand in every show in San Diego that I enjoy so much, or Vena Cava because I heard they were super good too, but I did watch Bastards of Young play 3 or 4 songs while Kenny was trying to herd or group of drunks together to go home, and they were pretty impressive. But I did have to go home so I could get some sort of sleep before I had to work on Monday morning. You know it was a good weekend when you zombie your way through a full day of working and have to pass out in your car at lunch to avoid just dropping dead from treating your body like the decaying piece of shit it is. Or maybe that's just me. 

Next up is Punk Rock Bowling in Vegas. It's going to get weird. 

Now Stop. Then Wiggle With It

Western Settings - Lysolgang - Just In Case - Sledding With Tigers (4/17/15 @ The Tower Bar, San Diego CA)

I wasn't going to write a review of this show, mostly because I figure: 1) I don't have to write about every fucking thing I go to, and 2) How many times can I really say Western Settings is good and you should listen to them? But then the other bands played and holy fuck! And, well, here I am.

We didn't get pizza before this show because we went to Mother Earth Brewery in Vista before hand for our buddy Trevor's "surprise" birthday party. Mother Earth currently has my favorite beer, Cali' Creamin', which I'm sure I have rambled about before. My personal opinion though, that shit sucks on nitro tap. I get what it's supposed to do, but it tastes too much like a flat cream soda and not enough like beer. But, you know, that's just me, I have the refined taste of that six year old kid who eats the disgusting sand on the playground and gets worms. 

Anywho, the show! This was the Western Settings tour kick off/vinyl release of their album show. After Mother Earth, Kenny and I had to fly down the 15 at 90 miles an hour to make it in time. And thank god we did, because...

Sledding with Tigers

On the way down, Kenny was kind of explaining this band to me. He kept saying something about he hopes he plays in the crowd like he did last time, which at the time made absolutely no sense to me. But once we got to the Tower Bar right it all became clear. Tonight, SwT was 2 people, one on acoustic guitar and one on banjo. The first thing that happened was the singer declared they didn't need a stage or amplifiers or microphones, so everyone just gather around. What happened next was roughly half an hour of some of the funniest, well written "pop punk folk" songs I have heard. I mean, when you have a song that references shitty 311 and Sublime tattoos, you automatically win. Definitely one of the better things I have seen in a while, and I'm super stoked we made it in time to catch them. 10/10, would see again. Bring on the Space Jam album.

The gather call for beards

Just In Case

Its not that this band wasn't good, it's just that I was just blown away by the previous band, and nothing really stood out about these guys minus the fact that they were really loud and hurt my stupid old man ears. What they did, they did well though. I just wasn't feeling it. 5/10, will need to investigate further. 

MY EARS ARE FUCKING BLEEDING! WHAT?

Lysolgang

Funny story (not really) about Lysolgang, at Awesome Fest last year I ran into the singer Patrick outside of the Office and he had a dilemma, should he stay at Awesome Fest or head down to Chula Vista to see the Offspring, Pennywise, Bad Religion, and the Vandals. He already had tickets to the very 90's punk show, so I told him, fuck it, get your ass down there. Later, when I ran into him he said that was a good call. Now, since then, I have had at least 4 chances to see his band play (twice as an Against Me! cover band) but each time I didn't go, with some variance of the excuse of I don't want to fucking drive to L.A. Well, this time they played in my hood, so I had no choice but to see them, and I'll be damned if I'm not bummed this was the first time. They ripped. They fucking covered Lil' John's hit (?) song Get Low, and it sounded awesome as fuck. Even Matt Caskitt was ready to declare them the best punk band in southern California. 9/10, will definitely see them again (Maybe even in dreaded L.A.) plus I want to download their songs.

Plus that logo. Respect.

Western Settings

I actually stayed inside and watched them play! Go me! 10/10 to me for defying expectations. 

That mullet though. Damn girl

Western Settings has quickly gained and tied with Caskitt as my favorite San Diego band. In an earlier blog, I defied San Diego bands to step up their game, and WS did in a big way*. If you are in one of the cities they are touring through, go out, watch them, and buy their new album Yes It Is. I promise you won't regret it.

That's it. Tonight I will be seeing the awesome Bad Cop/Bad Cop, A Wilhelm Scream, and Good Riddance at Brick by Brick. Go support your local music scene you jerks.

*This is actually a lie. Western Settings has always been good. I've just been a piece of shit. Don't tell anyone. 

You're a Scared Mother Fucker, Go To Church

Andrew Jackson Jihad - The Smith Street Band - Jeff Rosenstock - Chumped (4/10/15 @ The Irenic, San Diego CA)

Last Friday's show was fucking weird. It started off normal, with delicious pizza at Luigi's, then cruise down the street to the venue. Nothing out of the ordinary here!

Except the venue is a church. Like a real life, worship by day functional church. Apparently it is run by a non-profit organization who rents it out for all ages shows, including a "bar" in the back (so what if it's a cooler and a fold up table, they have PBR!) This is the 3rd time I have been to this place, and every time I feel weird as shit being there.

The crowd was a weird mix of X'd out hands children and surly looking old dudes with beards. I'll give you one chance to guess which half of the crowd I fit in with. Before we went in, my body was still sore from the car crash I was in earlier in the week, so I was given a couple of hydrocodone pills. Needless to say, I was feeling a little floaty. Not a fucking care in the world. You probably could have drop kicked me in the face, and I would have just been like, that was an impressive drop kick man. Walking into the venue, I decided to get a cup of wine from the "bar", it being the blood of Christ and all and me wanting to cement my position in hell.

Chumped Jeff Rosenstock

This band gets on stage, and I have no idea who they are. I'm a Bomb the Music Industry fan, so I was excited to see Jeff Rosenstock, but I haven't seen BtMI play in like 3 years, plus I was technically on drugs, plus Jeff kind of looked like a Muppet. So I didn't immediately recognize the band. And on top of that I expected him to play before Andrew Jackson, not "first."

Anyway, once I realized it was Jeff Rosenstock I was stoked. They played songs off their 2 albums, I Look Like Shit and We Cool?. Surprisingly, they didn't play a single BtMI song, which to me, is a good thing (since this is a different band entirely, and you don't want to get stuck feeling like you HAVE to play your old bands songs), but I can tell some people were a little disappointed. They did still have the BtMI-esque 20 minutes of talking in between songs, that I personally love. 

Actually, everyone kind of looked like a Muppet.

Chumped The Smith Street Band

The next band took the stage and I again had no idea who they are. I wasn't sure if it was going to be Chumped or Smith Street Band, but the singer had an unmistakable Australian accent, so I knew it was the SSB. I never really listened to them before this, and they started kind of slow and a little bit boring, so I went to go buy a new PBR and smoke a cigarette and talk to Matt Caskitt and Steffen about the awesome show I missed the previous Saturday (Masked Intruder, Success, Brian Wahlstrom and Caskitt). Eventually I wandered back in and checked out the last few songs, which I enjoyed more this time around. Also, the pills started to really kick in. 

Oh, I see you've played knifey spooney before

Chumped Andrew Jackson Jihad

Andrew Jackson Jihad got on stage, and now I was seriously confused. Was Chumped headlining for some reason? Whatever, just go with it. This is the 3rd time I have seen AJJ, and at first it was a little jarring to see them play as a full band. They came out and ripped through their set, not playing as many songs off Christmas Island as I thought they would. They were at one point joined by Jeff Rosenstock playing sax on the song You Don't Deserve Yourself , and by members of Chumped and Smith Street Band for the song Big Bird. I'm not the biggest AJJ fan in the world, but every time I see them play I am reminded about how hate filled, brutally honest, and awesome most of their songs are. This is where the church thing came into play though, they didn't have the time to do an encore song because the place was on a strict curfew. Bummer. 

Andrew Jackson Jihad featuring one of the Muppets

Chumped

Turns out, there was some confusion on what time the show started. Facebook said 6. The website said 7. I guess it started at like 6:30, and we fucking missed Chumped. Bummer.

About this time, the hydrocodone started to wear off and I was left with a sore body, headache, and dry mouth. Stupid pills and wine.

All in all, it was a good show. Nothing really super exciting happened, but it also wasn't super boring. I do want to thank Brendan and Julie for buying my ticket and going with me. And I want to say fuck you to that step. Brendan knows which one. 

And If I Wrap My Car Around The Guardrail, It Ain't Got Shit To Do With You

Sometimes you decide to do something a little crazy. I told a few people about our plan and they looked at me like I lost my fucking mind. 3 of us drive from Oceanside to Seattle and back, stopping in San Francisco and Portland, in 4 days. Easy Peasy.

This story starts on a Friday afternoon. I left work early so we would have more time, something that in retrospect is super laughable, but I was at my friend Jessica's house by 4pm ready to fucking roll. Unfortunately our 3rd party member, Kristyn (who's car we were taking), had to wait for her room mate to bring it back, so we didn't leave until about 6pm. But eventually we got our assess on the road and began to head north.

The first part of the trip went extremely smooth. We were up and past the hellhole known as L.A. in an easy 2 hours, and quickly on our way to Northern California at a brisk 80 miles an hour. We had to stop for gas somewhere around Sacramento, and that's when bizarre incident #1 happened. We pull into a gas station, everything is eerily quiet. Then all of a sudden about 8 or 9 cars pull in, bass thumping, rims shinning, and we were surrounded by a rap video with no camera's. People were yelling for no reason, dancing on top of cars, and just kind of having a good time hanging out in the parking lot. It was like some clouds just rolled in, but instead of rain, it brought a fucking party. By the time our tank was full, some rent-a-cops came and broke it up, and the party cloud packed it up and peeled out, and we were back on the road.

I was driving at this point and everyone else was sleeping. It's a weird thing to be driving by yourself on an unfamiliar road, speeding into the unknown. Just me, my thoughts, and the blackness beyond. The sides of the road were completely black, but I could tell just beyond the blackness was some sort of forest. Was it pretty? I had no way of knowing. My thoughts started to wander to places that matched the surrounding darkness. The people I love. The things I regret. People I have lost. If I could just go back and change just one moment, would everything be different or was always destined to lead to where I am as it was? I put on Tim Barry's live album and gave myself a new goal, shut the fuck up and make it to Oregon.

And make it to Oregon we did! The sun started to rise and the nature became visible. I had to stop driving and take a nap at this point, but not before we stopped at an awesome truck stop gas station that had everything from creepy fairy statues to ponchos to giant stuffed dogs to Elvis Presley leather jackets. If I only wasn't on a budget, I'd be the proud owner of some pretty stupid shit right now.

PORTLAND

Finally we made it to Portland. First thing was first, we needed food. I remembered from my last time here a really good little place called Broder, they serve Scandinavian breakfast food. I personally loved it, but could tell I was the only one really stoked on the decision. Next stop was Powell's books, a bookstore so massively huge its a little overwhelming. Jessica found a book she had been looking for for apparently ever, Hunter S. Thompson's Generation of Swine. So that was cool. I found a few things, but again, on a tight budget so I had to leave them behind. We had some time to kill, so we drove across town to a little record shop which ended up not being worth our time. We did head for a "Barcade" at the suggestion of Jared, but the place didn't serve alcohol until 5pm and we were already on several days with no booze, so we headed for the Martini glass shaped sign we saw down the street. It ended up being a relatively new bar called The Plank, a kind of pirate/sea themed bar that would become the theme of the weekend. We had to pee and b-lined straight for the bathrooms to the cries of the owner telling us we had to buy something. Finally acquiring alcohol, we shot the shit with the owner and the bartender, a strange fellow who wouldn't look you in the eyes when he talked and stuck his fingers from orifices to glass drink rims with little care. The owner was rad though and gave us a corn dog he was experimenting with breaded with hot Cheetos. 

Also, the Easter bunny was there (at the bookstore, obviously)

After a few drinks, it was time to head off to the main event. Get a steak dinner at a strip club called the Acropolis. This was also one of Jared's suggestions, apparently the guy who owns the gentlemen's club also owns a cattle ranch and produces steaks for the fine diners of Portland as well as his super sketchy club. It was here that bizarre incident #2 happened (shocking, right?). On one of our smoke breaks, we found a group of Canadians standing outside fucking shit housed. The drunkest one proclaimed he could do the worlds best cartwheel, so naturally we got him to do one. That somehow evolved into doing high kicks while the Canadians cartwheeled and chanted my name. I immediately added and crossed that off my bucket list. We went back in to devour our steaks and watch our favorite stripper one last time (She had America themed shorts, red hair, glasses, and chucks and must have been late to work because she came in and threw her purse and coffee on the ground and got to work. She won automatically) and then took off for the 3 hour drive to Seattle. 

SEATTLE

Oooooh. Aaaaah.

We got to Seattle and decided to get seeing the Space Needle out of the way. I mean, honestly, how long could you stare at it anyway? After that we headed straight for a hotel because we were all tired as shit and desperately wanted showers. The next morning we headed out to a restaurant that was gluten free and vegan since Kristyn has dietary restrictions, and could finally eat like a normal happy person there. After that we went to another record store and a cupcake shop and this is when things got weird for me.

Warning, it's about to get a little personal all up in here.

So, for most of my life I have struggled with depression. It's something I hate talking about and It's something I'm super embarrassed about. I do not like talking about my problems, and I think it's part of the reason why I am so quick to put anyone else before myself. I've learned to adapt around it (which I know, not healthy, whatever), to hide it best I can when I feel like shit, but sometimes it's written all over me. Normally, I'm at home or close to home when it hits, so I can just shut myself off in my room and curl up and try to disappear. Not so easy to do a thousand miles from home. So here I am in the middle of this record store in Seattle and I get hit with this feeling of sadness and loneliness all because I look at this one fucking human being and know in the back of my head I will never be good enough, and all these fucking feelings I have raging inside of me will all amount to absolutely nothing, because there is nothing further I can do. So I retreat best I can to this really creepy stairwell I found behind the record store and try and calm myself down. But instead the complete opposite happens, and not being in control of myself and not being able to do any fucking thing about it triggers a fucking panic attack (Something else that has been happening with an alarming frequency). So now I'm shaking weird, I can't think right, I'm getting asked a million questions of what is wrong with me? am I having fun? am I bored? and I can't answer a single one because I don't even know what to say and I am on the verge of tears for no real reason. I do finally get a grasp on it on the car ride to our next destination though and go on like nothing happened and just hope no one mentions it again (which thankfully is what happens).

Anyways, next stop was the pier and the biggest Ferris wheel in the United States. The adjacent building had a bunch of creepy wood carved people everywhere, and a look into the shop where they make them. I swear looked like they were currently building a lady wiping her ass after a shit. It was weird. Kendra said we had to check out the gum wall, so we went there. It was gross. So much gum everywhere. On the way though I ran into a guy dressed as Krieger from the show Archer, apparently there was an anime con going on somewhere near by. Then it was a trip through Pikes market place, including an awesome comic shop with a million little nerd things I would love to own, and then off once again to find alcohol.

We ended up at a punk pirate/sea themed bar called The Kraken. This is the place all of our friends bands play at when they are in town, so we decided it would probably be our best bet. It didn't disappoint. The bar tender was rad, the drinks were poured heavy and good times began. Through a series of events, I eventually stuck my entire fist into Jessica's drink and yelled something about "well now I'm fisting your drink" when we were approached by an older man named Swan. He said he was compiling quotes for a book he is writing about weird shit he overhears in places, and wanted to include our recent exchange. He then read to us some of the ones he had already written, non of which I can remember at this point. They were fucking funny though and I honestly hope that book gets made someday because it is a hell of a good idea, I also recognized the guy who cooked our tater tots as the guy from the band Successes new album cover, Radio Recovery. Jessica and myself drank our weight in whiskey, finally able to let loose, but eventually we had a schedule to keep and a long long fucking drive, so it was off the San Francisco we went. 

THE REDWOOD FORREST

We eventually took the 101 down the coast through the Redwood Forrest. It was absolutely stunningly beautiful and cool. We stopped at some point on the side of the road to take pictures and shit, and the only thing I could think of was this episode of Parks and Recreation where Lesley and Ben are walking through the Redwoods and Ben just stops mid conversation and says, "Wait. I'm in Endore..." We eventually found that tree you can drive through, and it turns out, the hole is super fucking small and really tight fit to get through. We also drove past the Ocean, which even though we live in OCEANside, was still impressive. Must have been the giant rocks and gray sky. Also, driving the 101 from Oregon to San Francisco takes fucking FOR-EV-ER. If you ever do it, prepare yourself.

Nature and shit

SAN FRANCISCO

I didn't know the 101 was the highway that crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, something I have never done, so when we got near and I saw signs, I got off the highway to a view point to surprise the sleeping ladies. Unfortunately, it was so fucking windy and cold no one cared, and we crossed into the city. The first stop was Haight and Ashbury, home to past hippies and present scum. And the Grateful dead house. After that we went to Fisherman's Wharf, but the girls got bad news from back home and we were kind of on a time crunch at this point, so we bounced to a pirate/sea themed bar called The Riptide to meet our buddy Jared (who was in town on tour with his band Sic Waiting) and to have a beer before we left. This place was having some sort of acoustic music night or something and Jared of course talked his way into playing a song, which was cool to see. We had a rule that we had to leave the city by 10pm because Jessica and I worked the next morning, but of course 10 came and went, so we settled for 11pm and said our goodbyes and started our journey home.

The good times. They were had.

THE ACCIDENT

We had it all worked out perfectly. Jessica would drive for the first 2-3 hours so Kristyn could rest. Then they would switch and Jessica could sleep. I got to sleep the entire time because I had to work at 6:30am. We executed that part of the plan flawlessly, and I slept in the back seat bed we made for a good 4 or 5 hours. At one gas station, I asked Jess if she wanted the back, because it was way more comfortable and she said yeah and we switched places. So now we are cruising down the 5 at 4 in the morning, I'm asleep in the front when I'm shaken awake by the car slamming into the guardrail by the fast lane. I'm fully awake when I realize we have lost control and are flying across all 4 lanes of the freeway. And I almost shit myself when I see that we are about to crash head on into the beginning part of the guardrail next to the slow lane. I have had nightmares of this exact thing happening. We hit the corner part of the guard rail and it kind of sends the car up an embankment and back down into the backside of the guardrail. The drivers side window shatters and we come to a halt on this hill side. After we all figure out we are ok, we get out of the car and some dude called the cops because he thought for sure we would all be waaaay more hurt then we were. We were about 10 minutes from Magic Mountain and all our planning just went to shit. They had to shut down the freeway for a few minutes to get 2 tow trucks in position to remove the car. Yes, it took 2 tow trucks. It was freezing and we all had to pee, so the tow ruck guy stuck us in the truck and put on 22 Jump Street on his phone and asked the cops if we could all pee on the side of the road (after he said he would have just went up and peed right next to the cop car if he had to go so bad. He was pretty cool.) Eventually we got a new rent a car and Jack in the Box for comfort food and headed home. I was only 7 hours late for work!

You were good to us friend

So here I am, 3 days later, still sore as shit, and minus the hiccup at the end, the episode, and the bad news for the girls on the road, it was some of the most fun I have had in a long while. Not showering, experiencing new things, and just hanging with good people really does wonders for your soul. I highly suggest grabbing some buds and hitting the road. 

Also, Seattle totally won.

KRIEGER!

First of all, it's Dr. I'll Solve Your Ant Problem